Earth Monkeys are Pathetic
by 101quark
Summary: This is a result of boredom. My pen-name changed. Found a title. And I re-did the first chapter. No big changes. Now it's a collecton of one-shots! Ch2 up! See note at bottom of ch. 2 for info about Flames or on my profile.
1. Zim!

**ZIM!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim.

* * *

Ever heard of a Voot Cruiser?

Do you know what a Spittle Runner is?

A Shuvver? A Ripper?

Ever seen the Massive?

Ever been to Conventia?

To Devastis? To Foodcourtia?

Ever heard of Vort? Of Blorch?

How about Nhar-Gh'ok? Meekrob? Hobo 13?

Of course not.

You just stay nice and 'safe' on your pathetic ball of dirt.

Like nothing's going to happen.

Nothing at all. Never.

Well, rest while you still can Earth- monkey.

An invasion is coming.

That piece of dirt floating in space you care so much about is going to crumble.

There's no place to hide.

I will take over.

This planet will soon belong to the Irken Empire.

There's no stopping it.

Resistance is futile.

The Almighty Tallests shall be pleased with me.

I will finally get the respect I deserve.

Because, puny Earth-monkey...

I... Am...

ZIM!

* * *

Well, whatdja think? Review and tell me. I don't care. I... I just got bored...

Ah, well, review if you wish.


	2. GIR meets Marvin

**GIR meets Marvin**

Invader Zim/The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy crossover.

Characters may be a little OOC…But, I'll try.

Disclaimer: I own neither Invader Zim nor HHGG.

* * *

Marvin sat there depressed and very bored. His "humans" left him on _The Hear of Gold_ so they could party at a bar. He sighed and stood; every gear grinding as he moved ever so slowly. He walked rather slowly to the bridge. Once he made it there, he computed the things he could do over and over in his head several thousand times. He found none of activities very productive to him, but was to the "humans". He sighed very pitifully and walked to a corner. 

"Hello, there!" Eddie the computer chirped. "How are you feeling today? I'm feeling just chipper."

Marvin said nothing and just stared at the intercom. He shook his head. "Leave me alone to wallow in my own misery…" he said after a moment.

"Aw, don't be sad, be happy!"

Marvin didn't reply this time. He left the bridge, rather mad. He walked depressingly down the halls, cringing every time he had to go through a door. He walked aimlessly for hours, never stopping. He glared at every door he passed, given that he _could_ glare.

After walking for what seemed an eternity, he stopped. To his left was a door to an extra pod ship. He thought for a moment. They were in an alternate dimension, where Earth wasn't destroyed. And the ship was close to ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha. He could…No, he thought about it, computed the outcome and he didn't like it.

"How ya doin'?" asked Eddie, fairly loud.

Marvin cringed. He computed the outcome of what would happen if he stayed there and compared it to the other. He concluded that "out there" would be more depressing that "in here". And he just didn't like Eddie.

Marvin opened the door, cringing at the loud, content sigh, and entered the pod ship.

(Scene Change!)

Marvin landed quite quietly on Earth. He stepped out of the pod ship and looked around. The sun was shining in a cloudless sky, the birds were singing happily and the sound of children's laughter rose from the distance…It disgusted him. Marvin sighed and sat down, leaning on the ship. He considered turning himself off when:

"Hey! You have a big head!" shrieked something rather loudly.

Marvin turned his head ever so slowly. Standing next to him was a small robot covered in some sticky substance. The robot was mainly grey and had light-blue body parts. A straw was sticking out of its mouth, and into a SuckMunkey cup. It held the cup out to Marvin.

"Want some?" It asked. "It's chocolate-bubblegum!"

"Leave me alone," droned Marvin. "I came here to drown in my misery."

"Aw, is Mister Big-Head lonely?" It asked, voice still unusually high-pitched. "I know! I'll be your friend! And so will Mister Piggy!" The robot dropped the drink and held out a live pig covered in mud to Marvin.

"…Go away…" Marvin stood up, gears grinding as he did. "Actually I'll go. You've made my depressing day even more depressing." Marvin got into the pod ship and flew it away.

GIR stood there waving after him, a huge grin on its face.

"GIR!" Zim screeched. "What are you doing her in public? Without your disguise!"

"I made a new friend with Mister Big-Head! He left now!" GIR squealed. "I'm gonna dance with the piggy now!" He grabbed the pig by the fore-arms and started dancing.

( To Marvin!)

Marvin learned a very valuable lesson with all this: If you leave one depressingly and overly-happy thing behind, you will always find another even more depressingly and overly-happy.

* * *

Note: Flames are pointless, unintelligent things meant to be brash and self-esteem lowering. Don't be foolish and do this or you will be forever known as a jerk, a-hole, or anything of that matter. Fan fictions are for fun and shouldn't be taken seriously. The only thing one should give is constructive criticism, point out any grammar/spelling/any of that sort errors, and/or praise for a good job. Everyone has feelings and some people don't take heed to them when they should. 


End file.
